Feline arse sharpens pencils

I’m amazed something as crude as the Cat’s Arse Sharpener could even be conceived, but after seeing how an elephant dispenses cigarettes through its rear end, this should come as no surprise. The extremely descriptive name reveals all without pulling any punches – all you need to do is stick in any blunt pencil into the derrière and it will automatically meow while sharpening your pencil in the process. The litter tray is not there for mere aesthetics as it is actually used to capture all your pencil shavings. To get this truly brutal desktop accessory, be prepared to fork out £6.95.