Farting damage control for the holidays

Farting in public can be quite the embarrassment – which is why U.S. Patent 6313371 helps keep your flatulence a private affiar. This “non-intrusive” pad will be taped “inside [of your] briefs or panties in the anal area”, working hard to neutralize whatever personal greenhouse emissions you might have due to stuffing yourself with too much turkey and other holiday meals. Made from “charcoal cloth originally developed by the British Chemical Defense Establishment of the Ministry of Defense”, this makes it more than capable of deodorizing toxic gas. It will take some time before the Flatulence Deodorizer makes it to commercial stores, but this is definitely one of the wackier gadgets to be released thus far.