For folks who are adamant that there is extra terrestrial life out there who have yet to discover the planet earth, perhaps the Location Earth Dog Tag is for you. This dog tag would definitely come in handy in helping you get back should you be abducted by aliens – it relies on the mathematical location of earth in relation to other important pulsars on the diagram – perfect for the supposedly more intelligent lifeforms to send you back once they’re done with an orgy of anal probes. Interestingly enough, the Location Earth Dog Tag comes with a $12.99 money-back guarantee that states “Should you ever be abducted by aliens while wearing Location Earth Dog Tags and not returned safely to Earth, you will be entitles to a full refund of the purchase price.”
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