White House Declines Petition To Build A Death Star After Over 34k Signatures

The White House launching the ability for the Internet to put together petitions on topics important to them was used recently on a petition backed by Anonymous to make DDoS attacks a legal form of protest, while on the other side of the spectrum, a petition was created almost a month ago asking the U.S. government to build a Death Star. It looks like the White House has looked into the Death Star petition, and has expectedly decided against it.

With over 34,000 petition signatures, White House official Paul Shawcross responded with a letter titled “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For.” The response is full of tongue-in-cheek humor and a lot of Star Wars references, but ultimately, here are three very important reasons why a Death Star won’t be built:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Even though the White House has denied funding for a Death Star to be built, they did remind people what they already have accomplished:

“Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that’s helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations.

“The Space Station has six astronauts — American, Russian, and Canadian — living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc.

“We’ve also got two robot science labs — one wielding a laser — roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.”

Daniel Perez
Categories: Military
Tags: Star Wars