Hey Diddle Diddle – this time around, the bovine in question did not make the leap over the moon, but somehow did defy the law of gravity to a certain degree by clearing a three foot fence, squashing a car upon landing to boot. Yes sir, Robert’s Citroen C5 is a complete write off after his entire bonnet was dented, while the whole wheel broke after said cow “bounced” onto his car. Surely the cow did not receive the help of these Jumping Stilts when it cleared the meter high fence, did it?

Police naturally used a breathalyzer on Robert to make sure he wasn’t pulling their legs after he called 999 to report the collision. The cow has since died at the scene after it attempted to escape a farmer. Robert was in a far better shape of course, having escaped with just cuts and bruises, never mind the fact that he skidded for almost 80 yards, ending up on the wrong side of the road to boot.

Oh and for the record, Robert’s breathalyzer test came back negative – and Robert is far more alert for low-flying cows from now on as he drives around.

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